Monday, April 16, 2012

Cassidy's Birth Story

Cassidy Joy Hedgecock
Born April 16, 2012
8 lbs 21 1/2 inches

Just like her brother, she was nice and cozy inside her mommy's tummy and was not motivated by her due date at all.  Josh and I were married on a Friday the 13th, so I would have loved if she was born on her actual due date of Friday the 13th of April.  No such luck, and originally I had no desire to even consider help getting my labor started unless she went a full week over and the doctor started getting on my case.  Well Josh switched crews and just happened to have his long change the week after Cassidy was due, and my mom by chance got a week off that same time too.  I no longer was working, and so all of us were just twiddling our thumbs waiting for her to make her debut.  Having my mom and Josh already off and knowing Kaige could be taken care of weighed heavily on me, so I had decided to ask my Dr. to strip my membranes at my appointment on Monday.  Of course my doctor had to leave and deliver two babies while I was waiting for my appointment and the office wanted me to see another doctor or reschedule.  I wasn't working, didn't have anything much better to do, so I waited it out to see MY doctor and get stripped.  He assured me that him stripping my membranes would only work if my body was close and ready to go into labor.  When he did it with Kaige, he showed me his bloody glove and I hadn't even left the doctor's office when I started feeling period like cramps and had to stop and buy a heating pad before I could go to work.  This time, there was no bloody show, no cramps, and little hope the baby was coming anytime soon.  I called my mom to tell her after all the stress on whether or not to get stripped and finally deciding it looked like baby Cassidy wasn't going to be hurried along.  I laid down when Kaige had quiet time and started to feel a little achy, but I was 9+ months pregnant and didn't feel like it was any different than any other day.  Around 4 I got the period like cramps I had with Kaige, by 5 I realized there were waves of stronger discomfort-every 4-5 minutes. (Same as with Kaige) I started to sit on the toilet alot to try and eliviate some of the pain.  I'm a big wuss and don't like pain at all.  I just kind of labored alone for 2 hours while Josh and Kaige would play together.  I tried to go outside and watch them play ball but I would have to go back and sit and rock on the toilet.  On a side note in addition to not planning on being stripped, this whole pregnancy I planned not to go to the hospital late at night and wait it out until early morning so they couldn't charge us for an additional night.  The silly things I added to my list to stress about.  Well by 7 I was pretty sure I was going to need an epidural before midnight and was hating how big of a whimp I was.  The pain was every few minutes so I asked my sister in law to come home in the next couple of hours and we got Kaige to bed, and packed up our stuff.  (I also asked Jen not to tell anyone, because I didn't want to deal with texts and other people until after we were settled in the hospital and knew this was for reals.)  I was anxious for Jen to get home and Josh to load the car, but I think I was the only one in a hurry.  I was just ready to get an epidural and was getting to the point that I couldn't function much.  I took a hot bath, but it wasn't the natural epidural people claim, I just wanted to sit on the toilet.  (That's just my position of choice for periods, labor, miscarriage, ect.) Things were moving along and I was headed to the car to leave and had to keep going to the bathroom.  I remember feeling like an old person as I walked and wasn't sure how I was going to get to the car, let along sit there for a half hour until we got the the hospital.  I struggled to get comfortable in the car, and I remember telling Josh that there is a sound you are suppose to make to help with breathing and pain.  I didn't know what that sound was, but I was making all sorts of animal noises trying to figure it out.  ahhhhhh, ooooo, awwww, oioioi, rrrrr, eeee.  Nothing worked, I was just tense and complained the whole way saying I can't do this Josh.  I know you are suppose to relax with the contractions, how the hell??  I braced and held my breath and was frustrated at just how much of a wuss I was.  When I left the Dr. office that morning my stress test showed no contractions and that I was just barely a 3.  I was in alot of pain, wanted some relief and was horrified that I would get to the hospital and they would send me home, or make me wait a while before admitting me. 

We finally got there and Josh pulled into the ER entrance, and then had to go park the car.  I told him we can get our stuff later after they put me in a room and I had my epidural.  I asked the receptionist how to get to the maternity ward and they asked me if I was in labor? YES!!!  Then they asked me if I was over 20 weeks? WHAT?!?!  It took alot for me to not say look at me retard! Instead I just said OVER! They pointed the way, and I wasn't going to wait for Josh.  I didn't get very far and was having a hard time walking, and I was really nauseous.  By the time Josh got to me, we both realized I needed help so he went to get me a wheel chair.  I had my puke bags in hand and had to use them in the hallway of the ER.  Lovely.  I'm standing there and realize my puke bag has a hole in it and now I have puke on me and the ER floor.  Even more lovely.  Josh returns and then tries to tell someone that there was a mess that needs to be cleaned up.  We waited, and waited and finally I put the bag over the throw up and we left.  Someone will figure it out.  Of course the wheel chair was missing the foot rests so I sat Indian Style as I was wheeled to labor and delivery.  We got there and were trying to check in.  They asked for all sorts of info and I was frustrated because I had mailed in my pre-registraton packet so I wouldn't have to deal with it.  They couldn't find me in the system even thought I had delievered a baby there before and had surgery there a year earlier.  Finally they found me! One step closer to an epidural!  Josh filled out some paperwork for me and one question asked arrival time.  It was 10:15PM.  Finally they were taking me to triage to check on me and get things started. 

I was handed a gown and a cup to pee in.  I could not pee in the cup for the life of me, but I loved sitting on the toilet trying to.  Finally when I knew there was not a drop of urine to muster up I somehow  forced myself out of the bathroom and down to my bed.  I apologized that I couldn't pee in the cup and continued to feel stupid for not being able to leave them a sample and for being such a baby when it came to pain.  Laying down made everything hurt 10 times worse.  I was miserable and kept saying I can't do this, I don't know how I am going to do this, I can't do this!  Poor Josh, what can he say...umm you have to.  I knew this and I knew I wasn't going to die, but I wanted to!  They finally checked me and it was probably about 10:30, I was a whole whopping.....brace yourself.....4!  Come on, I'd progressed 1 cm since leaving the doctors office, and here I was wanting to die?  I had 6 more cm to go.  The "I can't do this" pleas continued to flow from my mouth and I wanted my epidural now!  These sweet nurses really were great and never made me feel bad , but I was so embrarrassed that I was in so much pain and only a 4.  They assured me labor was painful, and that 4 was considered active labor.  I just kept apologizing to them and chanting that I couldn't do this in the midst of shifting and sitting and trying to find a comfortable position in the bed.  I had a clipboard of forms I was suppose to be signing so that they could treat me, deliver baby, give me epidural, baby shots, episiotimy and all that fun stuff.  I could not sign these papers.  I was in pain and I couldn't relax enough to look at it let alone sign it.  The nurse said let's get you in a room and get you comfortable, get you your epidural and then you can sign it.  Again the apologies for my wussiness continued but I was so thankful. 

I got to my room and I had to go to the bathroom or at least sit on the toilet.  Oh man it hurt!  I came out for a minute and the nurse told me that the anesthesiologist was on the floor giving one lady an epidural, and then had one more before me.  I asked her, what does that mean?  Do I have an hour to wait?  She promised me she would ask and then let me know and give me an honest answer.  I didn't want to lay in the bed, I wanted to go sit on the toilet.  Oh man, I got in there and I didn't want to stand and I didn't want to sit.  I was in so much pain and it was scary because I didn't know how to make myself feel better and I had to wait before I could get my drugs.  I called Josh into the bathroom, there was nothing he could do but I needed him.  I remember him standing there while I sat and I was just squeezing his thumb.  I didn't know what to do, so I'm sure he really didn't know what to do.  Somehow I convinced myself to leave the bathroom but I instantly regreted it.  I could not force myself to lay down.  The new nurse was already in my room urging me to lay down so she could get me on the monitor.  I did not want to lay down.  I was standing up against the side of the bed on one leg with the other leg bent resting on the bed thinking about laying down.  I was connected to the IV and I couldn't talk myself into the bed at all.  I told the nurse I just need to go to the bathroom, please!!!!  She said do you need to go to the bathroom or does it just feel like you do?  I don't know, I just want to sit on the toilet, please!!!!  She wouldn't let me, she said if it was your first maybe, but not with your second.  I was pretty upset and in a personal panic.  She left the room for some reason, and I stuck my fingers up inside of me and felt a budge.  My water hadn't broken, so I knew it wasn't the head.....I knew it was something-but I've heard down there changes all sorts of crazy when in labor so I ignored it. 

I seriously felt alot of pressure and really really wanted to sit on the toilet.  I was obedient to the nurse for some reason and just stood next to the bed.  I told Josh come around the bed in front of me, I'm seriously going to poop.  I said that several times, I so didn't want him to see me crap myself and the bed, but if that's what was going to happen he was going to be warned.  The nurse heard me say I needed to poop again and she decided she needed to check me.  Umm that meant me in the bed and thats the last thing I wanted done.  I seriously believe she threw me down on the bed to check me.  I know I didn't willingly lie down.  

You're a 9 she said.  What a 9?  My first questions was, can I still get an epidural?  She replied, I'm going to be honest, probably not, but you can do this.  She told someone to page Dr. Erickson and the room went into chaos.  My mind was racing and I thought how long is it going to take me to get from a 9 to a 10 and how long am I going to have to push without an epidural.  I was scared.  It never crossed my mind that maybe this baby would come fast, and I never thought about how fast I had progressed so far.  I just had it in my mind that every cm takes about an hour, and that I recently had a friend push naturally for 2 hours.  I didn't want anything to do with this, I wanted to stop hurting and I couldn't see any end in sight.  The nurse told me not to push, I still tightened up my muscles but I wasn't actively pushing to get her out.  The room transformed for delivery.  Bed broken apart, lights on, nurses in a flury.  What was I doing?  I was seriously hanging on for dear life to the bed rails.  I squeezed those suckers and as labor progressed I remember trying to pull them in towards me.  I was holding on so tight that I felt like I was pulling the room in towards me. 

I heard a huge pop, felt a huge splash as my water bursted.  The nurse hollared to get an ER doc.  I kept chanting "I can't do this!" No one seemed to listen to me or really care.  The nurses were great and told me what a good job I was doing, the nurse also said if the doctor doesn't get there, she would deliver for me.  It still never crossed my mind that the baby would be here in minutes....seconds...  As soon as the nurses saw the head they kept saying look at all that hair.  They asked me if I wanted to touch her head.  No! I want her out!!!!  I wish they had given me permission to push, because I was mentally torn.  I know I had been told not to push, but all I wanted to do was push.  So I pushed, and pushed, and pulled at those bed rails.  I'm not sure how I didn't break the bed.

 I have a sister in law who said she doesn't mind the long labor it's the last 5 minutes when the baby is coming out that she wants the epidural for.  I kept remembering this and was waiting for that feeling to know the end was in sight, and all the sudden my baby was out and she started crying instantly.  Josh cut the cord and they took the baby to the table.  Cassidy was 8 lbs. 21 1/2 inches long and born at 11:28 on April 16th.  Josh followed her and I was mentally trying to get a grip on what just happened. 

I asked if I had torn, and they just said the Dr. will be here soon to examine you.  Yep that's right.  There was no Dr. in the room when I delivered.  Niether the ER or my Dr. had made it.  Little Cassidy was the star of her own version of the Fast and the Furious.  We realized just how fast when Dr. Erickson came in and you could see his surprise that the baby had already been delivered.  He said, you paged me she was a 9.  He checked his page and it was 7 minutes earlier.  Got to give him some credit, he was pretty fast getting there, but she was faster.  So that means we were checking in at 10:15 and she was born at 11:28. Nuts!  That was an intense hour and 15 minutes. 

1 comment:

  1. Great story! I know you won't believe me but I teared up a little. I felt like I was there with you. Good job mamma. I love birth stories.