Happy Birthday Kaige!  Today makes 4 years since you made me a mother.  I never knew such happiness until you came into my life.  We are celebrating with lots of green and camo today because those are the things you love.  I didn't have a blog when you were born and I wish I had thought to write more details about your birth story.  But I did start a journal after you were born.  I kept it at work and when I brought all my stuff home after I was done working, I found it.  There was only one entry.  A very special entry all about you!

 

March 27, 2009

I began this journal as a mom! I got pregnant in the fall of 2007.  We told everyone on Christmas that we were expecting only to have a miscarriage the next day.  A very emotional time for me.  To our surprise I got pregnant 5 months later.  Because of my miscarriage I didn't tell people for quite a while.  I got very sick.  Some people call it morning sickness but I had all day sickness.  I threw up several times a day and it lasted my whole pregnancy.  I ended up only being about 6 pounds heavier than the day I found out I was pregnant.  So in that respect pregnancy was awful! It was like having the flu everyday for a year.  I never got huge or so miserable that I was desperate to get the baby out.  So that was a blessing.  After a long labor where plenty of things went wrong I had my first baby born.  Joshua KAIGE Hedgecock was born Tuesday February 3rd, 2009 at 4:36 PM.  He weighted 7 lbs 15oz and was 22 inches long.  I had been due on January 31st and so as I became past due we all talked about how large the baby would be.  If he was under 8 lbs I would be shocked and Josh kept saying he wouldn't be 8 lbs.  So I find it quite funny that Josh was right-but just barely! Maybe later I can write about my labor experience and the things that happened in the hospital.  When he was 5 weeks and 5 days he started to smile interactively.  It was absolutely adorable and there was no doubt that he was smiling directly at me.  At 6 1/2 weeks the major blowouts started.  There was one that shot up his back like a volcano.  It got all over me and the chair.  My mom and I got to laughing so hard.  He is all boy and smiles every time he explodes.  On March 2nd after my dad's sentencing, Josh, Kaige, Qadry and I went out to eat at Golden Corral.  Kaige was a bit fussy, so Josh was holding him.  Kaige made some stinkers and started to smile.  We all notices and began to laugh.  As we laughed he smiled more.  We all enjoyed him and his expressions.  He continued to smile and smirk, then we discovered why he was so pleased with himself.  As Josh moved the baby we all saw florescent yellow/green poop all over Josh's white shirt.  We had a hard time stopping the giggles.  It was great!! :)  Welcome to Fatherhood!! My best friend's Valerie and Lauren came to visit when he was 3 weeks old.  It was so good to have them here and all 6 of us girls back together.  When he was 3 weeks old I went back to work for 1 day.  The next two weeks I worked 2 days each week and when he was 6 weeks old  was back to work full time.  Full time is 5 days a week, 10 hours a day.  I am so thankful that I can still be a full-time mom while working, but it had been ore emotional that I planned and until I have a good schedule going it will remain stressful.  Baby Kaige and his cousin Jacob were blessed last Sunday March 29th.  Many people came for this special day.  It was one of the few times our chapel was full and even the overflow was open.  Josh gave a beautiful blessing and our little boy was surrounded by men who loved him.  There were Dads and brothers missing so that was saddening.  Qadry was so excited that he got to hold the microphone and still beating himself up that he hadn't turned it on.  It was really sad because it was so hard to hear him.  I am so thankful that we tape recorded it for my dad.  It picked up everything.  The men in the circle were: Josh, Sean Jenkins, Paul Hedgecock, Tim Hedgecock, Jason Hedgecock, Grandpa Palmer, Grandpa Jenkins, Duane Burt, Alan Jarman, Jamie Booth, Paul Waters, Curtis Waters.  There were so many people who came to the blessing.  I'm sure I'll be leaving some out.  Burbanks, Burts, Jarmans, both sets of my grandparents, Shirlie Guthrie, Rae and Sister Moffitt, Hancocks, Waters, Corringtons, Afton, Lees.  From my immediate family my Dad, Coby and Chad weren't there.  Josh's dad and step mom came in town so the only ones missing from Josh's side of the family were Jen and Dan.  We had a BBQ afterwards.  It was a success despite the wind and having to switch parks because of irrigation.  I am exhausted after this weekend, but it was special and well worth it.  My baby has always been a little man but he is growing much faster than I would like.  I sure do love him and love being a mom. As Josh blessed Kaige and helped with the BBQ I was overwhelmed with the love I have for him.  I am a very lucky girl! :)

Priesthood Blessings

Kaige had been sick with a high fever and just miserable.  We had asked him if he wanted a blessing, and that scared him.  He wasn't interested.  We had planned to go visit Robert in the hospital and since we couldn't get him much more sick than he already was we stuck to our plan.  As we walked the hospital parking lot Kaige asked if he could have a blessing.  I had him repeat to Josh his request and we were excited that he was interested in it, and excited to ask Robert to help.  As sick as he was he was very happy and willing to exercise his Priesthood.  What a special thing it was for all of us.  Kaige was a different kid leaving that hospital and already felt much better.

Robert has since passed, and I am so thankful for the ability he had to give Kaige a blessing.  Kaige remembers it and has brought it up to us several times since his Papa Hoopes has died. 

My brother Qadry is maturing into a great guy even more since he joined the Air Force.  He is on his way from TX to CO and got to come home for a couple of weeks.  During that time he was to be ordained an Elder and receive the Melchizedek priesthood.  We spoke to Kaige about this special blessing, and that we were going to the church to be there for Qadry to get the Priesthood.  He then reminded us about his Papa and Daddy giving him the Priesthood blessing when he was sick.  Little did I know, he really thought they had literally given it to him.

We were at the bookstore buying an oil vial for Qadry and Kaige wanted one of his own.  I promised him that when he received the priesthood, we would get him one of his own.  He looked at me and declared.  I ALREADY HAVE THE PRIESTHOOD! Papa and Daddy gave it to me at the hospital.  REMEMBER MAMA?!?!  Oh sweet boy, I remember.  I'm so glad you do too!  He is too young to completely understand.  But not too young, to forget special things and feelings.  I am so thankful for the Priesthood in my life!

CTR

As I tried to buckle Kaige into his car seat after we left Deseret Book store, I find Kaige had items in his hands that I hadn't paid for.  Are you kidding me?!?  How ironic is it that the first time my kid steals it's from the church book store?  As I asked him about it and told him we must go and take it back I realize that its a CTR ring, and a CTR bracelet.  CTR stands for Choose The Right.  If there can be anything funny about stealing, CTR merchandise has got to be it.  We went back into the store, and he went right back to the displays and put them where they belong.  I then told him, thank you but we still need to say I'm sorry.  He didn't want any of that.  I told him he would have to sit on my lap and we would stay there until he could apologize.  It took a long while, and a lot of coaxing.  After I lifted him up to stand in front of the worker he finally spit out an apology.  As soon as we got out the door he burst into tears.  He cried the whole way from the store to my work.  At least 15 minutes.  I tried to find out if he was crying because he didn't have the stuff or crying because he felt bad.  He was too beside himself to communicate.  When we stopped at work, he said.  I'm sorry mommy.  Ohhh melt my heart! I'm sorry too.  I don't think he really knew what he was doing.  He never tried to sneak it, but I think he knows much better now what stealing is.  I hope as painful as it was, that it truly was a learning lesson. 

Real Life Nightmare

I try to hit up Sprouts on Wednesdays to take advantage of their double ad days and stock up on produce for the week.  I went just to get some berries, and had a phone call on the way in.  I talked the whole time as I pushed Cassidy in her car seat in the cart and Kaige tagged along next to me.  I was even on the phone as I checked out and then loaded up my car and headed home.  I hung up with my friend just as I pulled into my driveway.  When we parked in the garage I turned around to the back seat and unbuckled Kaige.  He got out the passenger rear door and was excited to help me pull the trash cans in.  Together very slowly we pulled both trash cans back to the back yard.  When done, I came to the driver side back door, and opened it.  There I saw the bucket the baby carrier clicks into, and not baby carrier,  NO CASSIDY!!!!!  I stood there, thinking....where is she.  Think Poiette, think. OH MY GOSH, I'M THAT MOM!  I left my baby at Sprouts.  I left my baby in the cart, in the parking lot!  My body and mind could not function and I had all sorts of thoughts running into my mind.  Do I call 911, do I call Sprouts?  Do I drive to Sprouts and then what, ask if anyone has seen my baby.  I desperately tried to call Josh on my phone, but my fingers wouldn't work.  I needed to get Kaige back into his seat and could I get to my baby fast enough?  What were the cops going to say, what was the news going to say?  How could I prove that I was a good mom, that I don't do drugs, that I love my baby, and that I was just tired.  So tired, I freaking forgot my baby at Sprouts!  I could not call Josh for the life of me.  I ran into the house and yelled for Josh or Jen.  Just maybe one of them would be home, or awake and could look up Sprouts number and call them as I head back to find my baby.  I have never been so scared in my life.  As I yelled up the stairs I hear a voice behind me in the kitchen and I turn to see Josh standing in the kitchen unbuckling Cassidy out of her car seat on the island.  It took me a moment to process, and then my body collapsed.  I yelled you A-hole and crumpled to the bottom of the stairs and just sobbed.  I could barely get out what I had thought.  I cried and I finally went to the bathroom to try and compose myself.  Every fiber of my body ached with relief and adrenalin.  My baby was ok, I hadn't left her. If there was any doubt of my love for that little girl it went flying out that window with the fear I had accidentally abandoned her.  I love her so much!  I don't know what I would have done if my kids were ever taken away from me.  I do have much more understanding of hormonal exhausted moms who make silly mistakes and forget their child in the car, or in the cart at Sprouts. I was shocked the amount of just how emotional I was over this whole thing and how it really messed my body up.  I check often the backseat to make sure there is a baby carrier behind me as we drive around town.  It's a day, and a feeling I will never forget.

On a side note, the night before I had sent Josh an email at work telling him I just needed more help and attention from him.  So he was totally attentive to my needs and came down to help when we got home.  I just wasn't use to it.  He has never come helped the kids out of the car or with groceries, and so never did it dawn on me that someone else could have taken Cassidy out of the car.  Now after that scare and meltdown, he might never help again.  :)

Big Brother Kaige

I can't help but look at this picture and smile.  I sure do love my Kaige.  He is such a good son, and wonderful big brother.  We strive to be consistent with him in rules and routines and it has paid off.  When he frustrates us, we have to remind ourselves how wonderful, great and easy he really is.  It could be way worse, and we definitely have a good kid on our hands.   Now that I'm not pregnant and not working, I can spend so much more time with him.  He is so eager to learn and keeping me on my toes.  Right now he really likes to help, so I have to teach myself patience as I teach him how to help.  Not the easiest of tasks, but it's been great. 

He loves doing laundry.  He has learned to fold things and is especially awesome at folding the diaper pads, washcloths and anything else square he can get his hands on.  Anything else he folds ends up rolled and smooched on top of each other.  He is really great at moving clothes from the washer to the dryer and then from the dryer to the basket to be folded.  He really likes to close the appliance doors and start each load. 

Anytime I am in the kitchen and he thinks I am cooking he runs in and declares that he wants to help.  He pushes a chair up and eagerly gets busy.  As I try to let him measure, mix, cut, sprinkle and anything else I can come up with to help I often get distracted and realized I missed a key ingredient or step.  Oops, it's made with love so that makes up for it, right?

Kaige loves to help his daddy in the yard.  Josh has been great at making Kaige excited to help.  It's especially fun for him to pick weeds.  Not sure how long that will last, but we will make use of it while we can. 

Kaige is a fabulous big brother.  We don't let him help with Cassidy nearly as much as he would like.  He is a great helper and has figured out how to sneak some service in.  He washes as much of her in the bathtub until I take over, he sings to her, cuddles her, reads to her, and the other day he came to me with a poopy diaper in hand.  He often wipes and assists in the diaper changing, but he decided he was ready to do it all on his own.  He didn't make too much of a mess....this time! 

This kid is teaching me how to be a better mom, and I struggle daily not to fail.  I am thankful for his lessons he is teaching me and I pray that this wonderful servants heart will always burn strong.  

Father and Son's 2012

 

Kaige's with his buddies at his first Father and Son's Campout.  Doesn't he look happy?  But not as happy as mommy was.  I was at home partying it up with face masks and pazookies with some of my favorite ladies.  Little Cassidy even got her first pedicure and she isn't even a month old yet. 

 

I'm a big boy now!

 

I try to be pretty methodical in my parenting and transitioning Kaige from the crib to a big boy bed was no different.  He had been able to climb out of his crib for a year, but I retrained him to stay in there, but with the new baby due in a month I was running out of time.  So I put my pregnancy sickness aside and cleaned out what we called the "box" room.  Josh painted, and we set up the water bed.  My parents have got their money out of this bed.  It was my first big girl bed 27 years ago, and it's what Josh and I slept on the first 4 years of our marriage. I did a good job of talking up this move into the new bed, and he even got to pick out the new Spider Man to join him.  I was impressed with how little time it took Kaige to fall asleep.  Mission accomplished!

Happy Father's Day 2011

With my Heavenly Father's help I hand picked this guy to be my eternal companion.  One of the things that hooked me the most was just how wonderful he was with kids.  I wanted my kids to have him as their daddy.  Kaige is one lucky kid, and these pictures of him in his daddy's loving arms capture some of my favorite tender moments. 

Josh as a new daddy sleeping with his newborn Kaige in 2009.

 Josh still cuddling with his "baby" two years later in 2011.

New Years Eve

I spent New Year's Eve watching Kaige's crotch. Yep that's right I had my eyes glued to my little man wearing big boy undies and just waiting for any sign that he needed to go potty. I was following a three day potty training guide and doing exactly what it said. You don't let the child leave your side and the instant they start going potty you pick them up and rush them to the potty. I had four days off from work so I decided it was now or never. Accident after accident, it was a really long three days. That long three days, turned into a very long four days. It was Sunday on the 4th day, and I was fasting since I stayed home from church during this. Fasting to be a good mom, fasting for patience, and fasting that the spirit would guide my parenting. Four days and Kaige was no-where near potty trained, and I was emotional at what seemed to be a failure. But what do I do? Quit, give up and take back everything I told Kaige about being a big boy? It didn't feel right. I was kneeling down breaking my fast and Kaige came and sat down on my lap.......and peed right on me in the middle of my prayer. Are you flippen kidding me? Was that my answer? Was it a lost cause? No. For whatever reason, I had my answer. I knew we needed to go to the park. I had cabin fever and was going crazy. He must be too. I loaded up the wagon with the frog potty and headed to the park. I thought this is not going to end well. He had fun, we seemed to like each other the more he swung and it was just nice to get out. We didn't have any accidents at the park, and then we got home and he told me "poopy". We ran to the bathroom and he did it! I was so scared to go to work the next morning. Kaige needed to be in undies but I didn't need him having accidents at my boss's house. I was already nervous about them learning I was potty training since their kid was 16 months older than Kaige and still in diapers. So we go to work. I put a diaper pad in his undies as back up, and had all my potty training gear in the car. Well 20 minutes into being at work, Kaige says "poopy". We run to the potty and he went. WOO HOO. Then an hour later he went again, and again, and again. He was basically potty trained. He announces "poopy" when he needs to use the restroom no matter if it's #1 or #2. Going #2 in the potty took a few days longer, but it wasn't bad at all. Four months later and I am still leary of saying he is potty trained. But he is definitly doing good in training. He only wears a pullup at night. He rarely has accidents, but sometimes he conveintly forgets how to use the potty. It lasts a few frustrating days and then he is potty trained for another month or so. Kaige was potty trained a month before he turned two. I am a big believer in this method, but it takes alot of patience and real dedication. To be honest...... as proud as I am of Kaige's potty training accomplishments, I feel pretty accomplished myself.