A face only a mother could love.....and a daughter... Look at all that hair!?! I hate it, but on this day I was soooo excited to have him any way I could get him. This is how he came.
The day before the funeral I got my first good news since I heard about my Grandpa. My dad was given a furlough. I got to pick him up at 8AM, and he was able to attend the funeral without an escort. I had 12 hours until he needed to return to Tucson. It was a long, hard, emotional day with lot's of driving. But it was my pleasure and totally worth it.
I keep having to shake my head and ask myself, flight risk huh??? Oh well, it was such a blessing to have my dad be able to attend his dad's funeral how he did. Prayers were answered!
My grandfather had begun to type up his wishes for when he died and his services. On June 1st of this year he wrote, "In all these proceedings, I hope someone will mention that I was a man who tried his best, was conscientious of his responsibilities, but who made many mistakes and wrong decisions throughout his lifetime. It was my great fortune that Nicky agreed to share her life with me as I loved her intensely, admired her achievements, marveled at her sparkle and enthusiasm, benefited from her care and comforting, and felt her forgiveness for my faults. I was indeed a most blessed man because of her. May God bless her and our family. Thank you, Nick!" It was so nice to read it and know that these things were his wishes, and I'm sure it eliminated some difficult decisions for my grandma and gave her comfort at the same time. I would encourage everyone to do the same. A great gift for those left behind.
There was a table that displayed these pictures in a room where people could come and talk to my grandma before the service. We gathered as a family for prayer before the service began.
It was so nice to walk into the chapel for the service as a family and see that the entire room was filled with those who came to celebrate my grandfather's life and support my family. My dad was giving the Eulogy so he walked and stood on the stand and waited for everyone to be seated. I could see him quiver with emotions as he looked into the audience. That opened my floodgates. He got choked up a few times as he spoke and it was very touching to see. No one wants to see their parent sad.....but for me, it was re-assuring to see that sensitive side. He was probably the most emotional out of the family there. As odd as it may sound, it gave me a certain amount of comfort in seeing that. I would imagine that the last 5 years of my dad's life and the support his dad gave to him during that difficult time added to that.
If there is something good about a funeral, it's that we get to learn things we didn't know about these people we have gathered to honor. I was looking forward to that, and I wasn't disappointed. I didn't know my grandpa had failed kindergarten. :) It was interesting to hear the stories about associations he had with well known people like Lou Holtz, Kent Dana, and Magic Johnson.
We are blessed to have the spirit in our lives to testify of truth and give us comfort. Thankfully it was present in both capacities that day. I felt it as my dad tenderly talked about my grandparents moving to AZ and how essential it was to their conversion to the gospel, and Grandpa's commitment to it. As well when my dad said he knew because of his patriarchal blessing that his parents were meant to be together and meant to be his parents. The spirit gave me tingles as people spoke on how much my grandpa adored my grandma; that she was the only one he would notice in a full room and how they always celebrated their first date, their first marriage, and their temple marriage because they were important dates for them.
I had seen sheet music to a song that Grandpa had written the lyrics to, but they were just words and notes on a page. It was a special touch to have the lady who wrote the music, and her daughters sing my Grandpa's words to that song. It was beautiful!
As the Bishop gave his closing remarks he spoke about a lesson Grandpa had given on the Plan of Salvation. How powerful of a lesson it was, and that anyone in that class could not doubt Grandpa's testimony of the gospel and that Plan. I needed to hear that. It's now that he is gone, I need the same faith that he had in the wonderful plan Heavenly Father has for us. Several people spoke on Grandpa's love for missionary work, and that he is happy now where he is and teaching the gospel to those who didn't have that opportunity to learn of it in this life.
The service was really wonderful. After a family luncheon, I drove my dad "home". The day was bitter/sweet in many ways.
The next Monday September 20th, was a service at the National Cemetery. My grandma came over and spoke to Qie and Qadry and told them how much better off Grandpa was. How miserable he had been the last little while and that he is ok now doing missionary work. It was good to listen to her speak to them, and I recognized what she was saying to be true.
The service was short and sweet. We were warned about the gunshots, but still weren't prepared. I watched my Aunt and Grandma jump with each shot, and held Kaige as he cried with fear. Thankfully Kaige calmed down, and we could sit and listen and watch as they did their military presentation.
It was the first time I saw emotion visible on my grandma's face. I felt the spirit, peace, respect, and honor in this quite peaceful place. It was nice. I gave the closing prayer and was nervous about it. But thankfully it wasn't me who chose the words, I depended on the spirit to guide me, and I truly felt like the right words were said as we bid farewell to our dear Grandpa. He will be missed and may we learn from his example and his life!
I painfully regret not knowing how sick and miserable Grandpa was those last few weeks. He said goodbye to me once before an open heart surgery, and he survived. Over the last 15 year, I feel like I've been told several times he might not live long, and yet by the next time I saw him he seemed just fine, rosy cheeks and all. I wish I had been more in tune and had been more sensitive to his needs this last year, but there is nothing I can do to change the past. Just learn from it!
It's in times like these, family becomes even more important. In many ways I feel like my family has been broken over the last few years. I hate it, but as most of us gathered together to celebrate Grandpa's life, I have hope for better times in the future. I hope that I won't take the loved ones I still have for granted like I may have done with Grandpa. And I pray for healing in the hearts of those I love. That we may all be able to forgive one another and find an appreciation for each other.
Some may not like that we smiled and took pictures at a funeral, but it was good to be together, and like I said the day was very much bitter/sweet. I will cherish these pictures and wish that we had been able to include more of my family in them.
This time has allowed me the opportunity to reflect on my faith and beliefs. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life, for the gift of the holy ghost that continues to comfort me. The words from the song "Families Can Be Together Forever" continue to run through my mind.
"I have a family here on earth.
They are so good to me.
I want to share my life with them
Through all eternity.
Families can be together forever
Though Heavenly Father’s plan.
I always want to be with my own family
And the Lord has shown me how I can."
If you know this song, I hope you are singing it to yourself as you read the words, and picturing your precious family. I am so thankful that I have been sealed to my family and I know that we will continue our relationships after this life. The following is an excerpt from my Grandpa's journal; this special testimony is a wonderful reminder how important it is for us to keep a journal....or blog....
"Whether you are my wife, or one of my children, or a grandchild, or some friend of the family, I want you to know without any doubt, of the love I have for our Savior, Jesus Christ.
If things in your life seem to be going wrong, please let my testimony of Christ's love for you buoy up your spirits, because I know He does love you and me, and all mankind. We may break his heart by the actions we take, the things we think or the bad feelings we may have, but the fact will always remain that He loved us first, and He loves us still, and He always will."
Dave Jenkins
So Grandpa, not goodbye....but see ya later......
We enjoyed a few hours in Morrow Bay. We went to their fabulous little aquarium and Kaige had fun feeding their sea lions and going from tank to tank to see the fish. I think he visited each tank a dozen times. This town has lots of fun shops to browse through and yummy places to eat. One shop that we always have to make a stop at is the shell shop. Josh and I were surprised that the first thing Kaige did was put a shell up to his ear and squeal that he could hear the ocean. It was so cute and we don't have a clue where he learned that from. He spent the whole time picking up different shells and listening to the ocean. On our drive back I find Kaige in his car seat happy as can be listening to the ocean in both ears.
These are the yummy desserts that were ordered in Tombstone. We had so much fun with Josh's Aunt and Uncle when they came to visit. Had I known that his Uncle David loved food as much as he did (despite being the pickiest adult eater I have ever met), I could have planned a restaurant scavenger hunt to keep them entertained.
I remember playing a game at my bridal shower and it asked what Josh's favorite kind of movies were. I answered comedy, but wasn't sure. Never did I expect to hear westerns as the correct answer. What?!?! (This is what happens when you get engaged after only dating 6 weeks). I was floored by this revelation and couldn't picture my sports car driving fiance watching my Grandpa's favorite movies. But really his dad has rubbed off on him, and Josh really does enjoy westerns. He likes the movie Tombstone, and has great memories of going to Tombstone as a kid with his family. He was excited to take his Uncle there as well. 
We tried lots of restaurants while David and Lori were here, and Kaige's schedule got a little messed up. He did pretty good considering he was overstimulated and sleep deprived. But going out to eat with him wasn't the most fun, especially when it was after bedtime. At Cracker Barrel he was quite unreasonable and ended up in time out against the wall. He had served his time, but then did something, and put himself back in time out. He wouldn't budge. That's where he wanted to stay....so we let him!
I've gotten to know Uncle David and Aunt Lori better the last 6 months and it's been wonderful to develop a relationship with them. They live in Portland so our time together is sparse, but we're so thankful for their visit and loved having them in our home. 
And on that farm he had a cow, eee-iii-eee-iii-ooooo! With a moo moo here and a moo moo there, here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo. Old Macdonald had a cow eee-iii-eee-iii-ooo! And on that farm he had a pig.........
I had a bucket full of costume possibilities for Kaige, but as he belted out his favorite song Old MacDonald all day every day only including a mooing cow, I decided that Kaige should be a cow for Halloween. Craigslist didn't disappoint me, and $4 later I had a cow costume for my little guy. He loved dressing up every night before Halloween and we enjoyed him falling over with his padded cow bottom. In keeping with the theme, I roped Josh into being Old MacDonald and I was a pig. I love dressing up and Halloween. The older Kaige gets the more fun we'll have. I wonder what he will have us be next year.....
I painfully regret not knowing how sick and miserable Grandpa was those last few weeks. He said goodbye to me once before an open heart surgery, and he survived. Over the last 15 year, I feel like I've been told several times he might not live long, and yet by the next time I saw him he seemed just fine, rosy cheeks and all. I wish I had been more in tune and had been more sensitive to his needs this last year, but there is nothing I can do to change the past. Just learn from it! 
This is a holiday I never thought much about and didn't really even know about it. But this year I can't seem to hide from all the reminders that today is Grandparent's Day. Even our bishop reminded us from the pulpit at church, and my heart just sank. I've been blessed to have had all 4 of my grandparents a part of my life....until now.... My Grandpa David Jenkins died this week, and now I'm filled with all sorts of emotions. I'm wishing I had celebrated them by getting to know them better and letting them know how much I loved them. Although I know death is inevitable for everyone, I've never faced the loss of a loved one and have always taken it for granted that my grandparents will not always be with me. I have lots of regrets, but today I want to celebrate the memories of my Grandpa. I remember him helping with apple shipments, working outside with a large straw hat, handsome, always clean shaven, left handed artist, sales man, and spiritual giant to mention a few. My Aunt Teri asked for any special memories I had of him, there are the ones I shared with her. 
*I will always remember my Grandma and Grandpa and how beautiful and happy they looked dancing at my wedding. They were love birds! My grandpa died on the 58th anniversary of their first date. Grandpa did something special for Grandma every year to celebrate that special day until this one when he passed away. I'm betting he had something up his sleeve....if only we knew what...... I couldn't find a picture of them dancing, but I found this one of my Grandpa and my Aunt Teri at the daddy daughter dance at my wedding reception. This is the rosy faced smile I was talking about!
